The Desert Article
How I made it to the desert
After spending 3 years in Cancun (most of the time just staying around the Riviera Maya – Cancun area), I finally made a decision that I will travel, in order to know Mexico better, as well to meet Shamans, well-developed interesting people, to get my Awakening process rolling to the next Level.
As soon as I came back to Mexico (from a long June-to-September vacation in Poland), the answer was there waiting in Cancun. One of my spiritual Maestros (mentors) told me that a few people are going to the desert to stay there for 2-4 weeks with a Shaman. It was the best recommendation from well-developed man who I fully trusted (like my own father). Orlando was a guy like me, only he was almost 30 years older, with much more experience in spiritual and psychological development (both professional – helping other people and personal).
He said that this Shaman is well connected, that he is something else. Orlando’s eyes were flashing a little when he said that. It was recommendation with excitement. He also told me that our Shaman is from England (so not from the Mexican desert or jungle as I expected).
Hesitation to Go
For about a week, I was really hesitating about whether to go on this trip. The place of this retreat was a desert in the idle of nowhere, in the north of Mexico. Then it got worse, I figure out that the temperature goes down at night sometimes to 5 degrees Celsius, which means it’s the middle of real winter. The last thing I wanted to do was to leave my paradise in Cancun (with its 28-32 Celsius average temp.) and go to middle of nowhere, with no electricity, no running water, and most scary: no weather.
Ego and Fear
Right now, after doing this trip, I see that the things that were blocking me, besides bad weather conditions, was maybe also my ego. Maybe, just maybe, it already knew that things might change, that my ego might lose some of its power again. And then what (poor Ego), disappear completely? Who will rule ego-less Mike, if Ego and it’s Fears will go away for a moment?
Fortunately, there was few people coming with me (or me coming with them actually). Getting there was more complicated than I thought, so it was nice to have guides on the way.
On the way to middle of nowhere somewhere in San Luis Potosi (northeastern Mexico), we stayed for a couple of days in a small village, high up in the mountains. The village was called ‘Real de 14’. Cute, small, very local. It was nice, but you could already feel the cold and the lack of oxygen (over 2000m above sea level). Even if it’s completely irrelevant, let’s hit a couple of pictures from there.
Creating the Dream – Creating Your Life
When we got to our destination in the middle of the desert, it was cold and rainy-windy. Just perfect weather I could have dreamed for myself (sarcasm). Sometimes, well very often to be truthful, I’m thinking how much my thoughts are creating the conditions of the place that I’m heading. Because always, I notice at the spot I get to is exactly what I was thinking about (imagining) the place to be. And by that I mean not just freaking weather, but people, things, situations. Mostly everything. Plus factor ‘X’. Factor ‘X’ I could call the surprise from God, or the subconscious part of myself. So on the trips, sometimes happens something I didn’t plan. There is always a choice of course. If You think that good non-planned thing will happen in Your life, that’s how it will be. Also You can think that all not-planned things that will happen, could be bad – try to guess what will occur then.
I’m mentioning this stuff, because it’s not only very connected with yours and my life, but that was also a Retreat about: Dream that you are Dreaming. Reality as we dream. – Okay, But what does that mean?? (If you don’t know me that well, or you never heard of creating reality or lucid dreaming, or The ‘Secret’.)
Short story, dreaming means creating your world according to your wishes. Like in a Dream. There is a wide group of very developed people of different religions, different backgrounds, that believe that we are (you are) the creators who make (create completely) our lives (that dream) according to wishes and emotions and thoughts that we create (conscious and unconscious wishes).
We can stop here for a second to ask a question: What do you think is more true: Most people dream of their desires or their fears? (or – for example 50/50?).
Meeting the Boss
I arrived to the desert. Again, rainy, cold. Not the best welcome from nature. A few people were already there. In the evening, I met our Shaman.
Meeting our Boss. The Shaman. The can-opener. The change-maker. Our Guy for next 2 weeks.
It was already dark when I met him, we just shook hands. As a hello ‘welcome’, he made some joke about my polish accent. I didn’t know if it was sarcasm or because he really was surprised that I actually speak proper English, well American. Or maybe it was both a joke + sarcasm.
Here we can stop for a moment. When I meet spiritual teachers, whenever I go to hear a lecture with a Buddhist monk, or a non-religious interesting guy, I just expect a lot. EXPECTATIONS. That’s just the way it is. So I would be imagining maybe a more humble, meditative guy. Polite and humbled like Dalai-Lama. Humbled to the level of possible meditation-going-deeper state when you can be only light and politeness.
Our Boss wasn’t exactly like that. I mean, he was all that, from one sense of his being, and he wasn’t, from the other sense of expression, humble in his interaction with humans. In his ‘outside-communication’ being, he wasrather like me. A jokey, sarcastic guy, sometimes even little harsh (but not in a harmful way).
The Shaman as a person is not that really important itself. I mean the appearance or behavior or character of the Shaman is not what matters. If you are patient and observant enough, your life is magic no matter where you go and no matter who delivers The Message. The Message itself is important, not the messenger. Sometimes it can be a homeless guy’s word somewhere around the liquor store. Sometimes it can reveal much more than (for example) Ayahuasca sessions deep in the jungle, with professional Shamans.
.. small Digression without deeper meaning..
In my high school class, we always used to say that sarcasm was a sign of intelligence. It is. If you use it NO more than once-twice a day. If you use it more or in uncontrolled way, it becomes an expression of your suppressed anger. I see it in me; I see it especially in one of our high school class-mates. When we meet every few years, he still jokes a lot, but in this sarcastic way. Maybe next time I will try to tell him very gently, not hurting him in any way, that this is actually not that super nice (being sarcastic) and for people who work with themselves, it’s just showing you what you have to work on in your own being. There are also ways of being sarcastic without hurting anybody. But you have to be on a high level of life understanding, which very often means many years of self-development, self love, and respecting others. Then you can joke around and you will not attach yourself to those jokes – a malicious wave of your wantings (don’t wantings) or vicious emotions from your ego. Those jokes then will not activate your friends’ egos, and will stay only jokes. Otherwise, if your listeners are deeply hurt or unsure of themselves (which happens very often everywhere), you will hurt them even with a positive joke, because they will always read it negatively (especially women). Very often, I’m trying to be nice and I say something like this to a girl, like putting a simple compliment on the line – ‘what a nice dress’ (or something like that). Then I hear ‘Do I look fat??’, or ‘You don’t like that??’. Oww Man, do you hear what I’m saying? Or are you projecting 100% of your fears when other people speak, and you never really hear what other people actually say? Another thing is, that if women respond to my compliments like that, it means I don’t know how to sell them, or they are hardly ever true (and I should stop doing that).
Our Boss could joke around. Nobody got hurt. Only some little pissed ego reactions sometimes, maybe, well just the first time when we met actually. But it only showed something in me that I could work with.
The thing that I learned to love about our Shaman (also known as The Boss) is actually the same thing, that you might also love in any other people who posses deeper consciousness. Here it is: A person like this understands your processes, your weaknesses, stupid things you did or do. He has been there. And instead of anger, he is like a patient parent, so he can understand the reasons and motives behind every action. Understanding might be the key for the human race to grow. Because if we could understand why someone is attacking us without a reason (a person had, for example, a very bad abusive childhood without both parents) – you would respond with a hug to this person (instead of responding with attack). But normally we do not see the motives of other people, plus we are missing unconditional love, to resolve all problems.
Connecting to Earth
The first few days were tough at the desert. A little cold. No time, no watches, nothing to do. Switching from a regular life into Presence. Walk at the desert assignments. Meditations. Some ceremonies at night. No help. Just me and my thoughts and my problems.
Trying to connect to the Earth, Wind, Fire, Water. I forgot the fifth element. Recently, I cannot remember what the Fifth element is. Somebody helped me, hah. There has to be reason for me not remembering the Five elements. There are no accidents.
In the first week, between many simple assignments, we stayed there trying to let go, and let the earth connect us to its natural powers. Meaning to come back to nature. Do nothing, but let nature connect me to it. I didn’t know exactly how it worked. Now I see it, after time passed, that for someone who lives on earth it’s like saying I don’t know how to breathe!
That’s how stupid we have become. Well, me at least. Wi-fajs (WIFI), cell phones, MacDonald’s, everything ready to eat, work, other supposedly important things in our lives. All of that has covered up the real process of life, real breathing, real sunsets, real spirit, real dreams. You don’t even know. All that’s real is covered, it’s there, but it’s gone. What you dream right now, your life, for most of you guys, its maybe 15-25% real. Its covered, its dusty, its pretence, And you know something is WRONG. Don’t get offended. The feeling that something is wrong was with me most of my life. Like Neo in ‘Matrix’. I just knew something don’t work well. Well ‘me’ didn’t work well. Real life was always there waiting for me to be more awakened. That’s the Kingdom of God slowly opening its doors (in Jesus’ words, or any other higher-self person’s words, or just a person who is high:)
Don’t get bored.
The first week was hard. There was nothing to do. So you stay with your mind. Nobody likes that (harsh joke). Of course everybody ‘likes’ or ‘love’ themselves (sarcasm). But nobody wants to be closed up on deserted island without anybody. You know why ?
The Game Begins
Things start coming out. First in my dreams. The healing starts. First the problems – they have to come up to the surface. Dreams in the desert were very vivid. Very clear. You remember everything from the dreams. No wifi, no TV, no restaurants, no work makes you focus on the Real You. You see what’s coming up to the surface.
Some problems, some pain, some fear, relationship problems – that’s what was bothering me. Mostly my relationship status with a girl. For about 5-7 days, it was bothering me. It was a self-healing process.
In the meantime, The Change already started to shift me. The Land, The Earth started to work. After the second day at the desert we came back from the process that is called Burial. It means that you dig yourself a grave, and put there your body in it for a while – bury yourself to achieve metaphorical Death (death of your ego, or personal story, or whatever).
I did that. The Shaman told us to. It was one of those things that I was very excited to do, when I read about it. But when he gave me an axe and told me to dig myself a grave in the dirt, and put my naked body there – hmmm, I thought it would be a little more prepared, more civilized, technically. Nice coffin, some tube to breath. You know. Civilized Burial, not a naked body in the dirt with worms, Burial. But it wasn’t a menu with options.
I did it anyways. Not a big deal. Laying in dirt is okay, even if you are naked and there are a lot of worms and ants around. Really.
I lay down for about an hour or two. There were ‘things to do’ during this ceremony while you are buried. I forgot it all. I was just there, meditating, trying to quiet down my mind. It worked a little.
I got out, still in the dirt though. Came back to our Camp. I was quiet. Sharp. My mind was quiet.
It was first time in the desert that I started to understand what the wind was whispering. I could understand something. It wasn’t the words. But it was its gentleness. The wind started to speak to me. Then the sun felt different, my feelings towards the sun were much more open warm, alive – like towards a nice, well-known person. Maybe because when the sun goes down, it starts to be real cold in the desert, not pleasant. So you admire the sun when it’s still there. You know, like people of long ago did.
Our Boss saw me coming back from the Burial. My face had to be different. He asked: You feel it, right? You start to feel It ?
So Now, I speed up a little. Because first days were tuff, after a week, some medicine came.
Easy mind comes
My mind slowed down, my body started to catch harmony. Things molesting me mentally went like 70% away, the same happened with physical stuff (some stomach and colitis issues). I started to be human again. My mind started to be sharp. New forms of thought patterns arrived.
Thoughts became more clear and logical. I became to understood what’s really good for me. It’s not always the thing that I wanted.
Crystal Clear. I know, I understand now. Leave that girl, why would you keep anything in your life that you still have to fight for/with? What is the price of the things you still keep in your life? Is it the price of your mental peace? Or maybe a price of your health?
Or maybe you don’t even know that cancer you carry, or that craziness you are involved in with your mind, or some pain that has molested you for years, or some rash on your face that you carry. All that is a price for keeping the things that you wanted to keep in your life, not knowing that you should have let it go long time ago.
Funny, mentioning that, I remind myself of a short story and few thoughts I had when I saw a lady in Wal-Mart (big supermarket) in Cancun. She was about 43. She was slim, nice, very well dressed. Beautiful.
A high-class Lady. She took care of herself a lot. I looked at her face. She had a kind of strong rash on her cheek, down part of the face. Of course I knew instantly what was happening.
I’m guessing she would pay any money to get rid of that thing of her face.
She was also serious, rigid, inflexible, with a lot of ideas about life and herself in her mind, coded in her like malicious software. People with a closed heart, and open logic; like a serious business women with her BMW car, a strong position, set of values oriented on business. But no feelings. I mean feelings are there but you suppress it. That was her.
The thing that showed up on her face, god knows when, was a subconscious distraction, a form of changing her looks/thoughts/behavior pattern into a different way. It’s like your subconscious mind was saying: Now I’m gonna make you sick, so you will not worry about your work now, and you will start to worry about your sickness, and that’s how you will RELAX. Smart system, hah?
Unfortunately, things like this show up on our faces (men and women), as it’s the place where you would least like it to appear. Don’t you ever twonder why all the acne shows up on the face, not on your ass or your knees?
Most of us go through that. But nobody actually knows why.
Of course one of my thoughts was to go and tell her. Talk to the lady, help her. Put it out of her mind, heal her maybe physically as well. Either way, do you imagine me walking around the town as a ‘wanna be Jesus’ – telling people why they are sick and trying to release them from their problems?
But coming back to the desert..
What is Peyote?
The desert in Mexico is very famous for a psychedelic plant known as Peyote.
We can stop a little at this moment for a few words about plants, drugs, medicines, other stuff that governments want you to believe are harmful and dangerous. Well they is NOT. It could be potentially harmful to people who are already damaged in their head, and they are doing everything wrong. It’s like with knives, You can give one to normal person, and it’s not a weapon, it’s not dangerous, it’s good. When you give it to a suicidal person, he can hurt himself or others. Well, I would say that a lot of substances, especially natural drugs, plants, are probably more safe than all the knives that we have in the kitchen. I’m not promoting any substance use. I’m just saying how it is from my limited perspective. Also putting any substances into the body has energetic and physical effects. Be aware.
In the desert we didn’t actually do any Peyote. Peyote is a kind of small Cactus that looks like a little fungus in the ground:
The desert is very famous for doing this kind of ceremony with a plant that connects you. We didn’t do any of that. Boss told us that it’s not necessary to connect through plants; it’s all good to connect to nature – nature’ally. I was in no rush to do it anyways, even though it would be very nice to try especially since after a week in the desert, I was already connected to the earth, I was ready for anything. I was also damn bored of being locked down in the middle of nowhere. By the way, did you know why we say that drugs or substances get you high? Why we don’t say that it gets you Low? Many of the substances, in my opinion, connect you to something. And it’s something higher – that’s why we call it that. Like the Higher-Self. Alcohol, on the other hand, connects us lower. The same with tobacco. There is nothing wrong with these substances, they just work differently. Also many people who use a lot or some different plants, they use substances that get you higher, and then they smoke tobacco if they want to get lower. The art of getting high, ceremonies, provides a wide area where you can be very conscious and wise.
..Little speed up with the story..
How the desert with the Shaman ends – why you could do trip like this
I left the desert after two weeks. When I finished that, my mind was sharp like I just took an NZT pill (a wonderful super-intelligence pill from the movie called ‘Limitless’). I knew exactly what I had to leave behind, and what’s good for me, where to engage more. I become In-Spirit (Inspired) again.
I could travel without a place to stay, I would just buy ticket and go. No Fear. The fear was gone. Just like that.
Nothing had to be arranged and I was totally fine with it. I let more spirit In, more god, more consciousness, whatever you call it – it doesn’t matter what you call It. This thing that I’m talking about is the thing that everybody wants the most. Yet it’s never said, nobody has called it openly in anyway. Yet, I could be the first if I come up with a NAME for It. It’s the thing that people call happiness, success, inspiration, energy, god – all in One. If you could buy it, it would be Number One prescription drug. The cocaine cartels would go out of business in a week. Sorry Cartels.
For me at this moment, there was no option to come back to Cancun yet. I had to check out this new energy. There was not enough fear to stop me from anything. I went on a further trip to explore some lands and myself. No Plan. Just a Trip to the center of Mexico and then the Pacific Ocean. Energy flow and the Law of Attraction in Practice. I will see who I meet.
My eyes are fully open, my mind conscious. My heart is ready and learning to love.
P.S. After a couple of days of writing this article, I realized there are only four elements: Water, Earth, Fire and Air. Faith was missing in my head, because officially there is no faith. But there is. The unseen and the most powerful connecting to four elements was the first thing that the Shaman taught us. Staying connected to four elements gives you strength, a clear mind, and body health. Connecting to the 5th element should come naturally then.